Brentford are set to launch a bid to steal £10m rated striker Peter Crouch from Stoke City under the noses of West London rivals Chelsea according to Beesotted’s clickbait correspondent “The Man in the Pub”
In an astonishing exclusive, which could only normally have been made up in the minds of desperate website journalists tasked with publishing at least three transfer stories a day, our man has sealed the inside track on this sensational transfer scoop:
“So I was in the boozer the other day when this bloke came in who I am fairly certain was Brentford owner Matthew Benham, although I’ve never actually seen a photo of Benham. But I’m fairly certain this bloke looked like him. He had hair and stuff. And his name was definitely Matt. Or Mark.”
“Anyway he was talking on his mobile phone to someone that I can only imagine must have been Peter Crouch’s agent. I couldn’t really hear what he was saying because the music in the pub was a bit loud – they were playing “Moving on Up” by M People – but I suspect Mr Benham was negotiating to pull of a spectacular coup by signing talismanic striker Peter Crouch from under the noses of Chelsea”
“He definitely said the number “ten” which almost certainly means he was offering a staggering TEN MILLION transfer fee for the lanky England attacker. He might have said “gin” actually, which would make sense because the barmaid than served him a gin and tonic. But it might have been ten. Blame Heather Small for the fact that I couldn’t really hear”
“Anyway soon afterwards I had to go to the gents – I’ve got a bit of IBS – and by the time I returned to the bar Mr Benham had gone – presumably to meet Peter Crouch secretly at the Brentford Novotel so that he could be measured for a new tracksuit.”
Beesotted attempted to contact the club to confirm the story but unfortunately it was after 4pm and the switchboard was shut.
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