It’s time to reflect on a second top flight season at Brentford High School. @Beesotted’s supply teacher Jon Restall (@thecondorman) reports back on proceedings
It is with incredible pride that I note that the school has dispelled the notorious “second season syndrome” myth, with academic results expected to take a nose dive and school spirit predicted to wane… not just reporting better performance than the new academies, but also gaining the reputation of being the best performing school in the West London area (despite fortunes wasted on resources elsewhere). School trips to Manchester City, Tottenham and Chelsea will stick in the mind for years to come as will home performances against Manchester United and Liverpool.
We narrowly missed out on a scholarship for an Overseas School Trip next term but at least we don’t have to deal with players being sick on the ferry or hiding imported flick-knives and bangers in their socks on the journey home. Perhaps next year…..
The school grounds have acquired a new name – but the GTech Community sports facility remains a place that other schools fear to visit (even with samosas added to the school dinner menu).
Our headmaster, Thomas Frank, has once again enhanced his reputation as an innovative tactician who makes the very best of school resources. Contrast this to the fourteen changes of leadership at other premier schools this season and it’s clear to see that Mr Benham and his school governors have produced a structured and safe environment for all to thrive.
We expect a number of pupils to depart and arrive across the summer (with some younger boys looking to make their own impact on the school) – and will have to deal with the exclusion of one of the bigger boys until January – but hopefully our structure and belief will see us continue to perform in exceptional fashion.
The school motto “Solum Onus Pilentum InHounslodium” lives on
Player by player review:
David Raya – David has had another exceptional season and developed a real trust and understanding from those pupils around him. Unfortunately with his bursary set to run out next summer it looks like he is destined to join a school with deeper resources this summer – in fact we already have a new Dutch pupil eyeing his seat in class. Let’s hope David’s departure is respectful and that memories of him remain warm forever, He’s been an important part of the journey.
Pontus Jansson – The school captain is another pupil who will leave this summer to return to his former home in Sweden wearing his magic graduation cap. He can be very proud of his legacy at the school – he led with passion and experience and gave belief to those around him, whether leaning to the left or to the right during lessons. He did often suffer mysterious headaches in class late in matches when the school were clinging to a lead but fortunately he was always OK to continue once his team-mates had drunk some water, regained their composure or changed a glove.
Kris Ajer – A disjointed season for a pupil who was expected to step up in class this season. Hopefully matron can sort out his regular absences from class and he can return to his best. In fact his only highlight of the season was shaking hands with a Norway chum from a rival school before the final lesson of term.
Rico Henry – My goodness, this pupil knows how to get around a classroom – one supply teacher thought that Rico had an identical twin as he appeared to be occupying several seats at the same time. Regularly wins running races against opposition pupils and is a hugely popular and reliable pupil. Many think he should push on to display his abilities at an international level – certainly a reward which seems due to those who see him excel every single lesson
Mathias Jorgensen – “Zanka” is not always required during lessons but always answers brilliantly when asked a difficult question. Often to be found at the very front of playground fights with other schools and seems very protective of his headmaster.
Ethan Pinnock – We are starting to run out of superlatives for this diligent and high-performing student. The great news is that he looks set to continue at the school for another four years.
Ben Mee – Benjamin joined the school last summer under the assumption that he was initially short term experienced cover for Master Pinnock who was a bit poorly at the time. Many expected Ben’s handwriting to be untidy after several years of writing bold capital letters in felt tip under Mr Dyche at the Burnley Academy. However Ben has impressed, not just with his grit and determination, but with some sublime technical flourishes too. Was rewarded with the coveted Pupil of the Season award and spends his spare time working with those in the community too. A real thoroughbred of a boy and certainly Prefect material.
Mads Roerslev – Another player who quietly goes about his schoolwork to a very high standard and is able to answer difficult questions when called upon in big exams. Still developing and is a useful adaptable pupil to have around.
Aaron Hickey – Started the school year fairly quietly before picking up an injury but started to perform to a very high standard across the summer term. Comfortable sitting both near the window and near the door without it affecting his performance levels.
Christian Norgaard – Christian’s influence on those around him is always noticeable but his school year was interrupted by injury. One of our most gifted pupils, it is hoped that a summer of rest sees him return to his imperious best.
Vitaly Janelt – A very robust boy who regularly breaks the classroom door by slamming it too hard. Vitaly is a real workhorse in lessons and seems most comfortable sitting in Christian Norgaard’s chair when he is absent. His passion and tenacity is admirable and he continues to lead by example.
Matthias Jensen – Many thought the academy would struggle this season when Master Eriksen departed, but it’s fair to say that Matty has more than replaced him. A creative and intelligent pupil who has bulked up and added a new consistency and athleticism to his output. Has won over critics among the school parents and is able to launch pencil cases right across the classroom – an unexpected twist which causes havoc with other schools.
Frank Onyeka- Remains an enigmatic pupil who has never consistently put his mark on lessons. His contributions in class can be helpful but he’s never quite hit his expected grades.
Shandon Baptiste – another boy who threatens to shine but has never performed consistently for the school. Let himself down a bit on a school trip to Leicester.
Josh Da Silva – has the backing of his headmaster and the attributes to be a star pupil but it’s fair to say that his time in the sick bay took it’s toll this term. We still hope there’s more to come because he has all the makings of a top quality performer
Michael Damsgaard – surprised many by starting to sit in the centre of the classroom and gradually finding his confidence during lessons. A slightly ungainly pupil who has an extraordinary knack of unsettling pupils from other schools. Started rewarding his headmaster’s belief during the summer term but perhaps needs to have more custard with his puddings in the school canteen.
Ivan Toney – Ivan’s performance during lessons is exceptional and he has become a talisman for the school following his call up to represent England schools in international competition. Unfortunately he has proven less reliable off the pitch and was discovered to be gambling in the toilets during free periods which has led to his exclusion until January. This has been worsened by an extraordinary decision by Ofsted to ban him from mixing with other pupils until September, at the exact time that he needs support from others. Despite his misdemeanours Ivan remains coveted by other schools.
Bryan Mbuemo – Bryan is an energetic pupil who unfortunately spent some of the season taking the wrong turn in the corridor, clattering into the woodwork teacher’s cupboard rather than providing the required answers in class. However, his work ethic and resilience rewarded him in the summer term with a series of strong performances. With Ivan unavailable, he has the chance to take centre stage next term.
Yoanne Wissa – It felt at one point that Yoanne was slightly frustrated by being overlooked during lessons, but he has extended his stay at Brentford High and is another who can come to the fore whilst Master Toney is not allowed onto school grounds. Continues to answer the most difficult of questions under pressure which is a real talent despite setting fire to things in class.
Kevin Schade – Apologies for swearing but this lad is like shit off a shovel. Joined initially on a sabbatical but will join permanently this summer and is expected to light up lessons for years to come.
Keane Lewis-Potter – a frustrating season for this much lauded young pupil who picked up an injury in the autumn term and continues to struggle with his fitness.
In brief:
Samman Ghoddos – leaves this summer. Well-liked by teachers and pupils despite his propensity for head-slapping during school celebrations.
Sergi Canos – might yet leave the school this summer after enjoying an exchange trip last term. Needs to sometimes watch his use of social media.
Mads Bech – spent most of the year on an exchange trip before randomly barging into a lesson late in the year.
Halil Dervisoglu – spent the year at the high performing Burnley academy but was never in favour,. Would expect him to depart soon as he is yet to fulfil his talent.
Thomas Strakosha – never really used and reportedly frustrated at his lack of time in lessons.
Mads Bisdtrup – excelled on his foreign exchange trip and expected to shine next term
Jon Restall @thecondorman
Schade’s report is wonderful… made me lol.
As ever, Governor Condorman’s observations are incisive and witty and will hopefully keep him away from his yet-to-be discovered pseudonym side-hustle of writing Bee-rotic fiction.