As Brentford complete a third season in the Premier League, @Beesotted’s supply teacher Jon Restall (@thecondorman) reports back on how the year has gone.
In the blink of an eye another year has passed – perhaps more challenging than the previous two at this level, but with some enjoyable moments along the way, which started with a summer camp experience to America that I’m sure some parents are still paying off.
We can be proud that our elite reputation as a school remains intact, with an impressive resilience and a growing nous added to our early reputation. Not to mention more exotic pies in the tuck shop.
This year, it has been some of the more local school trips that will remain in the memory – with visits to Chelsea, Fulham, Bournemouth and Luton punctuating a rollercoaster journey.
This summer will undoubtedly see some changing of staff but it’s easy to remain optimistic about the future provided to us by Mr Benham and the other governors and the school motto “Solum Onus Pilentum InHounslodium” certainly lives on.
Before we continue, however, I would like to apologise once more for the headmaster’s language that some of you have complained about relentlessly since the final day of term, it was indeed “a fucking disgrace” as more than one mother shouted at me from her Evoke outside the school early last week.
Pupil by pupil review:
Mark Flekken – Mark took a fair while to settle into the academic year, with lessons often happening around him as he looked on, slightly bemused. As the year has progressed though he’s become a popular and reliable pupil with signs that there is even more to come now that he remembered how to bend his knees.
Kris Ajer – Kris has become a cult figure with some hard fought displays in class – clearly enjoyed by the pupil himself with a trademark fist clench. He proudly made and wore a slightly sinister papier mache mask during the school trip to Bournemouth which frightened some of the younger pupils. Needs to work on his overall attendance record and shouldn’t have worn plimsols up in Manchester as they caused him to fall over badly in front of the big boys.
Nathan Collins – A larger pupil who moved to London from somewhere just outside of Birmingham last summer. Has proven to be somewhat clumsy in class, often knocking over entire desks at inconvenient moments. At his best, however, he is a class act and has shown some good signs of maturing during the latter stages of term, although some of his critical teachers made him play the donkey in the Christmas pantomime and joked about him in the staff room.
Ethan Pinnock – A wonderful student who thoroughly deserved the Merit award that he received at the end of term. Makes difficult questions look easy and refuses to be bullied by pupils from other schools. Noticeable when he is not in lessons and the excursion to sunny Luton was one of his highlights.
Sergio Reguilon – A somewhat hotheaded pupil who joined us on a sabbatical scheme. Quick witted but sometimes quick tempered – and the latter sometimes let him down when it mattered most and was told off for his behaviour at Burnley when he half-strangled one poor lad. Has departed again for now, but we wouldn’t be entirely adverse to seeing him return when he’s finished counting his pocket money.
Mathias Jorgensen – “Zanka” has appeared in lessons more frequently than expected but unfortunately his marks have started to slip and one pupil had to be expelled for saying his name wrong several time in front of classmates. We often ask him to pass out the textbooks but he regularly threw them straight out of the window in error. Although he produced some amazing surrealist artwork on a trip to Aston Villa theme park which he apparently drew with his shoes on the wrong feet and facing back to front.
Ben Mee – Benjamin had a disjointed year, failing to appear at all after February half term. Set incredibly high standards last year which he has struggled to live up to. Will remain for us another year and is a good example to younger pupils as well as a likeable pupil who has been heavily involved in building a windmill on the school’s roof and recycles all of the toilet block’s methane on a voluntary basis.
Mads Roerslev – Seems to always be in lessons, even when not entirely expected. He works hard to improve himself but often needs to have better self belief. Hair could do with a ruddy good trim.
Christian Norgaard – Christian’s influence on those around him is always noticeable but once again his school year was interrupted by injury. When on form, however, he is still among the best in the country. He’s off on a European exchange trip during the summer and has been warned about his possible behaviour against his English chums when he’s there.
Vitaly Janelt – Vitaly blusters in and out of lessons with real determination and has proven to be a reliable and popular pupil when times are tough. Regularly outshines pupils with bigger reputations. I wish he wouldn’t slam his desk shut quite so hard at the end of lessons and his handshake is very very firm. Likes a grilled sausage at lunchtime.
Matthias Jensen – A particularly gifted boy capable of lighting up music lessons with his inspiring melodies and artistic poise. Hasn’t always hit his highest marks across the year but is definitely one of our most creative students.
Frank Onyeka – Frank remains an enigma. He thunders around the school at pace, but often leaves lessons without really making any impact. Sometimes it feels like he’s in a completely different lesson to all the other pupils. His school books are full of tippex and keeps visiting nurse to get his wrist bandaged although there’s nothing wrong with it.
Samman Ghoddos – We waved farewell to Samman last summer but he returned to lessons shortly afterwards after failing to find a new school. Has sat in pretty well every chair in class across the year – becoming more popular in his second stint here. Produced some magnificent artwork in October and has, thankfully, stopped slapping other pupils on the head quite as much. Good luck in your new school, Samman, and thanks for the hard work.
Michael Damsgaard – after two years at the school Michael is finally starting to make an impact. He is a slight pupil but not afraid to mix it with bigger boys, although he does sometimes bounce off them into the corridor. Let’s hope his progression continues, perhaps he should sit next to Vitaly at lunch for some Bratwurst.
Yehor Yarmolyuk – a younger pupil who was often on the fringes of lessons but showed some signs of maturity when called upon. Seems to tire easily during regular examinations, something which he needs to work on. Should have a bright future ahead though. Is the first pupil at Brentford High to have three Ys in his name apparently.
Ivan Toney – Ivan was suspended for the first half of the school year for cheating at marbles in the playground. When he returned he made an immediate impact in his first lesson back where he was somewhat naughty with some shaving foam. We received a stiff letter from the other school involved. Whilst he might well be selected for the England Schools XI this summer, in truth he struggled with his consistency this term. He remains one of our finest ever pupils, and looks likely to make a large donation to the ‘nowhere special’ school treasury when he departs this summer.
Bryan Mbuemo – Bryan really stepped up this season, with an improved final product added to his work rate in class. Another who missed a chunk of the year after hurting himself on a day trip to Brighton. Lessons are much more enjoyable when he is present and should be made a prefect next term.
Yoanne Wissa – Yoanne can be proud of both his effort and output this season with some spectacular individual moments especially in gymnastics. He continues to make difficult questions look easy at times. Good to have about the place and he really benefited from being allowed back to Africa for a few weeks away from school.
Keane Lewis-Potter – Keane was unfortunate not to achieve more success in lessons but often appears to be his own biggest critic – his shoulders slump when things aren’t going to plan and his bottom lip comes out a bit too. Lifted his marks towards the end of the year and could yet become a star pupil – he just needs to keep believing.
Neal Maupay Another returning pupil, Neal seems to absolutely love this school and has volunteered his time to help at out of hours clubs too. He’s incredibly popular here – but appears to be disliked by a number of pupils and staff at other schools. Regularly plays tricks in class – although some backfire spectacularly – especially when he pretended to play darts on a trip to a North London Farmyard. But Neal has provided some much needed light relief at times as well as some good work when we needed it. Tales of his antics will no doubt live on in folklore here, long after his departure this summer.
In brief:
Thomas Strakosha – rarely appears in lessons
Rico Henry – despite early promise was absent for most of the school year. Regularly missed by his fellow pupils, it became apparent how often he bails them out in class
Aaron Hickey – a younger pupil with huge potential, but another who produced a massive sick note this year
Yunus Konak – showed his immediate affiliation with the club by getting injured during his first day here. One earmarked for great things in the future.
Shandon Baptiste – never really fulfilled his potential – heading for pastures new. Should free up some space in the nurse’s room.
Josh Da Silva – had a terrible accident just after really impressing on the field trip to Tottenham. Will remain with the school for now, but has a long recovery path ahead.
Kevin Schade – we all expected Kevin to kick on this season – and possibly even to wear Ivan’s blazer. Another whose absence outweighed his contribution – but there will be brighter days ahead.
Charlie Goode – Has now left the school and we wish him Goode luck with his revising this summer as he sits entrance exams for a new school.
Jon Restall
