Beesotted’s smutty-minded Condorman was inspired to pen some  filth to remember some recently departed, or rumoured to be leaving, Bees players.

“I recently started to work in the public library in my home town. I’m quite a shy girl at work, but like to let my hair down a bit in the evenings, if you know what I mean

I’d been working with a student over the summer holidays who had a body to die for – one night me and him were left alone to tidy up – as I bent down to pick some non-fiction off the floor, he squeezed past me and I felt the shape of his Woods-hard Bjelland against my leg as I got the Vibe that we’d soon become more than just colleagues.

I took off my reading spectacles and let down my hair and it wasn’t long before we’d fallen to the floor together in the autobiographies section, my Florian Jozefzoon throbbing as things started to get as bit Jota, off came my Nicos.

By this point I was Gogia-ing for it as I felt his Kershbaumer start to enter me Egan and Egan. It wasn’t long until we erupted into a climaximecolin and I screamed “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh Alan McCormack” as his Hoffman finally hit the back of the net.

I now organise the rotas at work and I make sure I schedule us both on the same late shift if I need someone to cheer up my Harlee Dean.   The sex we have together is definitely ten times better than I’ve experienced elsewhere”

As told to @thecondorman

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