It was in my calendar from the moment the first teaser image was shown. The Second of June, 2014.
Twenty-nine years and a day after getting all over-excited before facing crushing disappointment at the Freight Rover Trophy Final, the reveal of the new “bespoke” adidas home shirt should be here. Yes, I had spent the previous evening like a kid on December 24th.
Lonesome moments staring aimlessly out of the window and pacing up and down the hall, willing for the sun to rise again, the birds to start singing and the Bees to update their website.
I’d half hoped the kit would be like a new Harry Potter novel, a new Call of Duty game or a new According To You CD and warrant a midnight release.
Bypassing the official site and heading direct to the erm, Bees Direct site, I refreshed a number of times to no avail. Voices in my tired head even started telling me to order some lime green goalkeeper socks so I decided enough was enough and that I should get some shut eye.
In fact, it’s just struck me there was maybe something deeply psychological about me thinking I needed to hang up my (lime green goalkeeper) stocking for Santa.
When I needed to get up, I soon wished I’d booked the day as Annual Leave from my dayjob. Monday mornings (I’m with Bob Geldof on this) are mostly filled with meetings to pull apart last week’s sales numbers and all other KPIs.
Going by the times most of the teaser images appeared online, I was pretty sure the website would be updated around 9.10am with the sexy new shirt in all its glory and the link to order it. I kept refreshing beforehand just so there weren’t a host of people seeing it before me. Not sure why this was important but it was.
9.10 came and went with no reveal. I had one meeting at 10.30 I knew I couldn’t miss and in which even sneaking a peak at my phone would have been nigh on impossible. Surely it would be updated by then. 10.27: nothing. 10.28: nada. 10.28.30: zip. 10.29 Jack Fucking Shit.
I grumpily picked up my notepad for the meeting, cursing the Brentford and adidas marketing teams. Teaser campaign? Too right. What a sick tease though. Hmm… look at me… I’m so sexy… do you want me?… Ooh, on the 2nd of June, you can have me…
Well, come on then, where are ya?
I sat through the meeting trying my best to stop thinking, “here we go again, same OLD Brentford”. All promises then failing to deliver when it matters most. Just like twenty nine years and a day ago all over again.The meeting came and went. I can’t recall what was discussed but I now have yet another doodle of a Bees kit on my notepad.
While colleagues rushed back to put in place whatever actions we were told to focus on, I refreshed the Internet Explorer tab I had open with the official Bees site. An Academy story was pushed down and there, as the headline story, were images of the front and back of the new top.
The back seemed to be shouting, “look at me, I’m stripey too”. The club had obviously delivered on their promise not to have a plain back like the last two seasons. The last two seasons that have seen us finish Third then Second. Removing tradition for a moment, maybe there is something to be said about having a non-striped reverse to the shirts?
My first thoughts on the images displayed reminded me of the first time I heard Oasis’ Be Here Now album. Something that promised so much yet delivered so little. The image in my head from the teaser photos was a kit version of Sophia Vergara yet I felt I was now looking at the football jersey equivalent of Susan Boyle.
The seductive blood claret stripes were replaced by the shade of red Dave Kitson’s legs go when he doesn’t apply sun block. Not attractive.
Then there was the sponsor logo. A white patch annoyingly, and stupidly, just encroaching into the red stripes either side of the two middle white ones.
I’d already been asked what I thought on Twitter by someone aware of my adidas kit obsession but who I’ve never knowingly met in my life. I tried to convey my disappointment. I was like the kid on Christmas Eve certain he was getting a Sony Playstation 4. I’d even held the wrapped gift up to the light and made out the letters ‘SONY PLAYST’. I’d then excitedly torn the paper off to reveal the rest of the letters, ‘ATION 2’. I’d built myself up and built myself up so much and was gutted. I looked again and again at the images. They just failed to do anything for me. Sorry SuBo, you’re just not my type.
Despite my disappointment, I soon started feeling guilty for not being supportive of this design the club actually seem to have had input into. It was as though my parents were telling me how hard they had worked to get me the PS2 and if I didn’t want it, they’d give it to someone more grateful.
From the way I was acting, my colleagues were probably thinking I was having trouble at home when the real story was I was just having trouble at the new home shirt. I still decided to click through and take a look on the Direct site again. Maybe I would just get those lime green goalkeeper socks after all.
The banner on the Superstore site homepage displayed a much nicer picture of a head hidden character, it could even be me, wearing that new top. The photograph was different to those front and back images. The shade of red began seducing me again and the sponsor patch was no longer as irritating. It even looked like it might fall off, given the right encouragement.
That photo made the top look sexy again. I like big stripes and I cannot lie, this top has them, I can’t deny. It has the subtle traces of black, including the three line logo of our German manufacturers which make it less Stoke than last season’s modern adidas debut and more Brentford. I want one.
The more I look at the actual photo of it, the more it resembles those tantalising teasers. Oh, I really want one. It looks very good. My God I really, really want one.
After all my huffing and puffing, umming and arrghing, something came up and the funds I thought I had available for the top have temporarily had to be allocated elsewhere! I’m quite disappointed at myself for not going ahead and ordering immediately.
I’m also a tad disappointed that the official site went with those two (front and back) images and not the photo. I think enough people will have placed orders for the club to be happy with the way the kit was announced but I still consider it rather anti-climatic considering the teaser campaign.
So what of the kit itself now I’ve had time to digest the images and photo, and calm myself down somewhat? There are things I’d change if I could. I still think the sponsor patch is a bit Sunday League and ideally I’d move the adidas logo overtone left, symmetrical to the Bees badge.
However, had I not got myself so excited by the teaser campaign, and just seen the image straight away, I might well be saying it is the best Bees top I’ve ever seen. Take a look at the new Nikemare which is the new QPR top and imagine that template turned on its side and blue turned to red. Ah nah.
Personally, I’m not bothered that we’re missing reference to the 125 year anniversary. That’s more because I just think it’s a shit anniversary! This may be a bit of numerical OCD saying hello but I think you should celebrate just the following years:1,5,10,25,50,100,200,250,300,400,500,1000. Maybe even knock out three and four hundred. 125 years though? Whatever!
So, as fellow kit enthusiast (that’s the kind word) Nick Bruzon has already said, now it’s all about the away kit. The keeper top image seems to be out there in the public domain, and I’m guessing those lime green socks will soon be replaced by either lightish blue or bright dark pink from the trim. But yes, on to the away kit and the questions begin. Will it be stripey? Is it, like the home kit, bespoke and not from the bog standard catalogue? What colour is it? Come on Mr D and adidas. The home kit’s now out for the lads and ladies, hurry up and start another one of your sexy teases.
Luis Adriano