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Regular Beesotted contributor Nemone Sariman shares her thoughts on Brentford’s new tickled pink kit!

So we have a pink second kit. If you’ve not yet checked your social media, I’ll give you a couple of minutes to absorb that jarring piece of news.

The husband: “Well, it had to happen sooner or later. Law of averages, an’ all that.”

I see. I didn’t realise that a pink shirt was such an established rite of passage in life, but ok.

Now, I have nothing against pink. I don’t think it’s a colour just for girls, like people did in the 1950s, and, in fact, it really suits me. If I’m feeling tired or ill, pink gives me a lift that puts me on the correct side of that fine line between “operating a reduced service” and “near death”. (If you knew me during my partying days, yes, that’s why I would always wear a pink shirt on Mondays; it would hide a hangover like nothing else.)

However, is pink a colour for sports kit? Yes, it can be, if it’s a bold, go-getting neon bright. But pastel pink simply doesn’t have that rally-the-troops feel that bright or dark colours have. After all, Roman gladiators didn’t wear pink, did they? 

That said, no pastel colour really screams “We’re ready to do battle” but, according to The Rules, every club has to have a dark shirt and a pale one each season. So we were going to be stuck with pastel SOMETHING, whatever happened. 

If you remember the monstrous brown Jaffa Cake kit from 2018 (or whenever it was – I’m not going to Google the date because it will only show me pictures of it, and I really don’t want that), you will know that our bar is set pretty low when it comes to kit colours. When any Brentford fan complains about a colour, someone will pipe up “At least it’s not brown” and we accept it. We may even feel a bit better. Pastel pink is by no means the best. But I guess it’s not the worst.

Hopefully people won’t really pay too much attention to what’s happening with our kit, since there’s so much going on with other clubs.

The good:

Crystal Palace home – kit designer, I’ll have whatever you’re having. Once again you have outdone yourself with a clever take on stripes and a cool, almost-subliminal nod to the club’s eagle mascot. This is one of those rare kits which will look as good on the pitch as close-up. 

Manchester City third kit – After a summer of Belgium’s glorious Euros livery, burgundy is our new favourite colour. Maybe Kevin de Bruyne had a hand in this? 

Our third shirt – This proves to me that British Racing Green isn’t just for cars and Conservative party summer barbecues. Dark shirts rarely look terrible anyway, and the fact that this is dark green rather than just black gives it a certain refinement.

Manchester United home – You can’t really go wrong with their gorgeous red, and the softer, less severe version of Liverpool’s hideous collar somehow works. 

Wolves away – Although I fear that the black and the gold may bleed together to form brown when in motion, Wolves score extra points for originality and for giving fans something that couldn’t possibly be mistaken for another club’s kit. 

The bad:

Chelsea away – Is it pink? Is it peach? Is it beige? Nobody knows. Whatever it is, the red trim jars horribly against the insipid background. 

Liverpool home – A reasonable colour utterly ruined by a harsh, ugly butcher’s apron-style collar. 

Manchester City keeper home – Poor old Ed, having to wear this monstrosity of brown and pink together. The two colours look awful together. Maybe someone should have told their kit designer that.

The meh: 

Chelsea home – I get what they are trying to do. But, after seeing the meme of the Chelsea players and those blue bus seats, I can’t unsee it. 

Arsenal home – inoffensive but boring. Arsenal kits don’t seem to vary greatly year upon year, and there is something distinctly Tesco Value about red and dark blue together. I would love to see them do something innovative with their colours, à la Crystal Palace, rather than just ANOTHER season of the red tabard with whatever-colour Adidas shoulder stripes.

I’m sure my attitude towards the pink will thaw when we start winning in it. Perhaps it could even be a deliberate strategy to make others underestimate us? I would love our opponents to think, “Aw, bless them in their ickle pink shirts!” then be forced to eat their words when we beat them 6-0. (Or 0-6, since it’s the AWAY shirt.)

Come on you Bees!

Nemone Sariman