Beesotted’s Condorman attends a meeting of the school governors and emerges with his unpopular yearly synopsis:
As the sun comes out for the summer over West London, it’s time to reflect on another exciting season at Brentford High School. It’s certainly been challenging at times – with teachers coming and going, pupils struggling to settle and some problems with the new school field that we bought from a local farmer, but our overall achievements have again shown how far we have come over recent years.
Congratulations to the new headmaster Mr Smith and his staff for the renewed optimism around the school.
Pupil by Pupil reports as follows:
David Button David is a solid and reliable pupil who shows good concentration levels within lessons. Any errors he makes in class are unfortunately very visible, but he has worked hard to minimise these. An asset to the school
Maxime Colin Maxime arrived from France mid-term but has already shown excellent levels of proficiency and an abundance of talent. His absence through sickness has been the only blot on an otherwise excellent year, hopefully it’s not a recurring issue.
Yoann Barbet Yoann has become an extremely popular member of the class, regularly sliding across the classroom on his chair to clear up mistakes made by other pupils. Distributes books around the classroom elegantly and accurately over a variety of distances.
Nico Yennaris Nico has spent the last two years sitting on the fringes of the classroom and not really getting involved in lessons. Fortunately, the absence of some of the more dominant pupils has allowed him to flourish and he is now an active member of the class.
Jake Bidwell Jake, the school prefect, takes his role very seriously and works hard to improve on his weaker areas of learning. It’s easy to forget how young he is, and what a bright future lies ahead.
Harlee Dean Harlee has been at the school for several years and is a vocal and influential boy. He is very keen to get his opinion across and can be slightly impulsive in lessons. His desire for success, however, should not be underestimated
Konstantin Kerschbaumer “KK” unfortunately spent a large part of the year eagerly bumbling around the classroom bumping into things in a slightly haphazard fashion. Fortunately, his performance levels over recent weeks have been vastly improved and he looks less likely to have to move to a different school in the summer.
Alan McCormack Alan is an intimidating pupil who demands the very best from those around him. He has shone this year when others have hidden during lessons and has worked hard to make sure his raw enthusiasm doesn’t turn into anger.
Ryan Woods Ryan is a sprightly pupil who scampers around the classroom quietly going about his business. Whilst used to sitting in the centre of the class, he has put in some solid performances on the right hand side of the classroom. We look forward to seeing him develop further.
Alan Judge Alan has been a stand out performer this year, single handedly dragging the school through the middle of the year whilst others struggle to impress. His insistence on sitting in seats right around the classroom during a lesson completely unsettles other schools, but could potentially confuse some of his classmates too. Had a very sad end to the season which means he misses an International school trip over the summer.
Josh McEachran Josh came to the school with a big reputation but long periods of absence have interrupted his first year. Shows the odd moment of shining inspiration but at other times has struggled to look particularly involved during class.
Sergi Canos Sergi is a terrifically popular pupil who joined us on an exchange programme from a Liverpool academy. He bounds into every lesson with a broad grin on his face and his energy and commitment levels are a joy to watch. He is very welcome to join us again next year, but we suspect his future may lie elsewhere.
Samuel Saunders Sam almost moved to America in the spring (it’s easier to maintain a tan over there apparently) but decided to stay in West London and mature into his role as a senior pupil. Refuses to be outshone by younger boys and will have been absolutely delighted to open the rout against the visiting school from Fulham. We note that there is still a rather lewd song sung about him in the playground.
John Swift Josh has been studying with us on exchange from the Chelsea Academy. He is a slight pupil with a terrific talent but can sometimes look like he is coasting during lessons whilst others around him are working hard. Has the capacity to produce some stunning work, however, which should not be underestimated.
Marco Djuricin Marco joined us for one year and looked, briefly, as though he would be a top class pupil. His performances since injury, however, have been incredibly disappointing and it looks as though his future now lies elsewhere. Will always be remembered at the school via the plaque in the school hall which documents his winning strike against QPR High.
Philipp Hoffmann Philipp is a giant pupil who doesn’t really seem to fit in to the chair in which Mr Smith wants him to sit. He has some clearly visible ability, but may achieve better results at a different school more aligned to his talents.
Lasse Vibe Lasse has had a mixed year but can look back at the end of term proudly at his overall achievements. Whilst some of his output hasn’t always thrilled, it is not through a lack of effort, and it’s definitely noticeable when he is not in lessons. His pony tail is strictly against school rules but we let him off because he has a very catchy song sung about him.
Scott Hogan Scott has had a terrible attendance record over the past two years but fortunately now seems well enough to sit in class for most, if not all, of a lesson. Has made an incredible impact over a very very short time and we are very interested to see how he performs next year – he could well be a real star pupil.
Other reports in brief:
Andreas Bjelland – Came with high expectations but suffered a bad early injury. Much to come.
Jack O’Connell – a big boy who doesn’t let the class down when called upon
Andy Gogia – not really impacted on lessons but can hopefully settle next year
Josh Clarke – young pupil with raw talent, has probably earnt a chance for prolonged attendance
Toumani Diagouraga – popular ex-pupil who now lives in Leeds where has learnt a new skill (shooting)
Jota – Assaulted by thuggish ex-pupil Douglas early in the season, then went on an exchange trip to Spain. Not been seen since
Lewis Mcleod – terrible absence record through illness rather than truancy, some concerns that he won’t fulfil his potential. Next year is a big one for him
James Tarkowski – jug eared stroyteller who weed in his pants and then moved to Burnley
Andre Gray – has conducted himself brilliantly at a new academy, good to see an ex pupil doing well